Loss

We lost River last night. He had not been doing well. While the other puppies seem to get stronger by the hour, River was getting listless. And he wasn't nursing. I could get him into position, but he just wouldn't latch on. I was able to get him some milk, and I was up about every hour and a half last night trying to get him to nurse. Dale helped too, and adjusted him. But nothing seemed to get him going. This morning Dale found him pushed away from the others, who were snuggled up against Skittles's belly.

I am heartbroken. This whole deal with having puppies has been more stressful and emotional than I had imagined. I thought it would be hard, but ultimately fun. I did not expect so much worry and tears.

I know I need to stop asking all the why questions and feeling sorry. I'm sure there is a reason, and maybe the heartbreak now is saving us (or a new owner) from worse heartbreak later on. It's time to focus on the three beautiful pups we have and be grateful.